Post by dropd on Oct 21, 2009 22:06:02 GMT -8
Inspired by Craigslist ads that run -- "guitar amp dont no what kind $50 obo leave phone number on awnser macheen if you want to sea it but dont call again if I don't call you back stupid" -- I'd love to see Craigslist adopt a set of conditions something along the following lines:
A for-sale ad must feature the brand name of the item and the full model name or number, failure to provide both costs ten points unless both are clearly visible in your photo. Combining the wrong brand and model name, "Peavey Twin Reverb," loses you ten points.
If multiple items are on offer, using the phrase "Too many to list" or "E-mail or phone to find out what I have" indicates you should have had a garage sale instead, minus ten points.
Failure to provide an in-focus, properly-lit photo costs ten points, but multiple photos from different angles or appropriate close-ups adds ten points. Not having a photo and offering to e-mail one to anyone interestedcosts an additional ten points. Referring in your text to a photo (or web link, or phone number) you have failed to include, minus ten points.
Use of a manufacturer's photo of say an amp or keyboard while failing to mention the one you have for sale was abandoned at a local bar and sat outside their back door in the rain and sun for two years will result in ten lost points in future ads if reported by attempted purchasers.
Use of "Jazz Bass" or "Precision Bass" or "Telecaster" or "Stratocaster" (lower case or capitalized) in reference to any product not made by Fender, minus ten points. Combining a model name with an inappropriate manufacturer, e.g."Happy Dragon Brand Les Paul" would also be ten points gone.
Using "Fender" to describe what turns out to be "Squire" costs ten points, ditto with "Gibson" and "Epiphone," or use of any U.S./British brand name while failing to mention what you have is one of their made-in-wherever bargain models.
Claiming to have a '59 Bassman for sale when you really mean some named-alike "reissue" made last year that doesn't quite come within a mile of the real thing, say goodbye to ten points.
Identifying (or failing to) your amp as being made in the U.S./UK vs. one made since they moved their factory to Korea or China gains or loses ten points as appropriate.
Placing an entirely inappropriate ad such as pool cleaning in the musical instruments for sale section, minus ten points.
Failure to indicate the instruction manual is missing costs ten points if the item is a programmable digital contraption for which a manual is very much needed. Throwing in extra items not originally included like a foot-switch or caster wheels adds ten points.
Use of OBO (or best offer) if you don't really mean you'll take the best offer you get, bad karma but otherwise hard to enforce.
Putting at least three useful pieces of info in the listing title--e.g.
accurate item description, brand & model, location--ten bonus points.
Offering to haul the item to a more convenient location for a possible purchaser's viewing, plus ten points.
Including the reason for selling the product adds ten points only if it provides useful info. "I need the money" tells us nothing. "I'm selling this amp only because I got their more powerful model for the bigger gigs I'm playing these days," is reassuring as to your satisfaction with the product. Info like you want to sell it before your ex-wife's lawyer finds out you have it and sells it for you, while entertaining, offers no bonus points.
Accurately describing the amount of wear on the item adds ten points. "Still works" does not qualify.
Use of terms like "vintage," "classic," or "antique" when you really mean worn-out, rusty and nasty costs ten points.
Failure to observe the selling price of identical items and instead asking for an unrealistically high price and then making grudging reductions in the price over a period of weeks when everybody knew what they go for used allalong, minus ten points.
Failure to describe any significant problem costs five hundred points (requires reporting by purchaser once he's out of the hospital due to that intermittent grounding problem).
Thirty or more negative points and CL pulls the ad. Leftover negative points apply to your next ad just to make sure you learned your lesson. Positive points don't accumulate because there is no excuse for a badly-written ad, this ain't rocket science.
In regard to musician looking for musicians ads:
If sneery references to the things you don't want from prospective bandmates outnumber the things you're looking for, perhaps you should consider a solo act. If you object to other musicians' instruments or gear other than as related to reliability, stay solo. If your own gear is hopelessly inadequate to the purpose you advertise, leave town. If you dwell on your instrument/gear collection like it means more than the music you supposedly make, lose ten points.
If you fail to indicate your previous musicians wanted ads resulted in your name being passed around town under the category, "Do not call--flake" then again consider staying solo. If you indicate your new band is a turnkey operation with a PA and lights and management and gigs booked and any of those is not true, shut up. If the "management" is a family member or current sexual partner you want to keep happy, shut up even more. If you neglect to mention nobody has ever paid money to hear you perform while implying that you are a professional, minus ten points. If you claim to have released an album and that really means you burned a spindle of CD-Rs, printed labels at Kinkos and gave them away, minus ten points.
Minus another 100 points if your original compositions on your album actually involve the unauthorized use of other people's tracks. If you identify yourself as a composer when that really means you made up some new lyrics to old blues or rock standards, minus ten. If you use descriptives like advanced,
accomplished, professional, established and so on and cannot reasonably back up any of them, ten negative points. If you list legendary musicians as your musical influences but nobody but you can detect any sign of that in your music, ten lost points. If you claim to have worked with a famous musician when actually that means you repaired his vacuum cleaner, ten points adios. If you ever fail to turn up on time to any audition, rehearsal, jam session or whatever you arrange through your ad, negative 100
points.
Don't get me wrong, I've found some cool stuff on Craigslist including a fantastic deal on a Genz Benz amp in cherry condition for half what they normally sell for used. But dang it would be nice if people put just a bit more thought into their ads, it's almost as if some of them are trying to discourage folks from picking up the phone.
A for-sale ad must feature the brand name of the item and the full model name or number, failure to provide both costs ten points unless both are clearly visible in your photo. Combining the wrong brand and model name, "Peavey Twin Reverb," loses you ten points.
If multiple items are on offer, using the phrase "Too many to list" or "E-mail or phone to find out what I have" indicates you should have had a garage sale instead, minus ten points.
Failure to provide an in-focus, properly-lit photo costs ten points, but multiple photos from different angles or appropriate close-ups adds ten points. Not having a photo and offering to e-mail one to anyone interestedcosts an additional ten points. Referring in your text to a photo (or web link, or phone number) you have failed to include, minus ten points.
Use of a manufacturer's photo of say an amp or keyboard while failing to mention the one you have for sale was abandoned at a local bar and sat outside their back door in the rain and sun for two years will result in ten lost points in future ads if reported by attempted purchasers.
Use of "Jazz Bass" or "Precision Bass" or "Telecaster" or "Stratocaster" (lower case or capitalized) in reference to any product not made by Fender, minus ten points. Combining a model name with an inappropriate manufacturer, e.g."Happy Dragon Brand Les Paul" would also be ten points gone.
Using "Fender" to describe what turns out to be "Squire" costs ten points, ditto with "Gibson" and "Epiphone," or use of any U.S./British brand name while failing to mention what you have is one of their made-in-wherever bargain models.
Claiming to have a '59 Bassman for sale when you really mean some named-alike "reissue" made last year that doesn't quite come within a mile of the real thing, say goodbye to ten points.
Identifying (or failing to) your amp as being made in the U.S./UK vs. one made since they moved their factory to Korea or China gains or loses ten points as appropriate.
Placing an entirely inappropriate ad such as pool cleaning in the musical instruments for sale section, minus ten points.
Failure to indicate the instruction manual is missing costs ten points if the item is a programmable digital contraption for which a manual is very much needed. Throwing in extra items not originally included like a foot-switch or caster wheels adds ten points.
Use of OBO (or best offer) if you don't really mean you'll take the best offer you get, bad karma but otherwise hard to enforce.
Putting at least three useful pieces of info in the listing title--e.g.
accurate item description, brand & model, location--ten bonus points.
Offering to haul the item to a more convenient location for a possible purchaser's viewing, plus ten points.
Including the reason for selling the product adds ten points only if it provides useful info. "I need the money" tells us nothing. "I'm selling this amp only because I got their more powerful model for the bigger gigs I'm playing these days," is reassuring as to your satisfaction with the product. Info like you want to sell it before your ex-wife's lawyer finds out you have it and sells it for you, while entertaining, offers no bonus points.
Accurately describing the amount of wear on the item adds ten points. "Still works" does not qualify.
Use of terms like "vintage," "classic," or "antique" when you really mean worn-out, rusty and nasty costs ten points.
Failure to observe the selling price of identical items and instead asking for an unrealistically high price and then making grudging reductions in the price over a period of weeks when everybody knew what they go for used allalong, minus ten points.
Failure to describe any significant problem costs five hundred points (requires reporting by purchaser once he's out of the hospital due to that intermittent grounding problem).
Thirty or more negative points and CL pulls the ad. Leftover negative points apply to your next ad just to make sure you learned your lesson. Positive points don't accumulate because there is no excuse for a badly-written ad, this ain't rocket science.
In regard to musician looking for musicians ads:
If sneery references to the things you don't want from prospective bandmates outnumber the things you're looking for, perhaps you should consider a solo act. If you object to other musicians' instruments or gear other than as related to reliability, stay solo. If your own gear is hopelessly inadequate to the purpose you advertise, leave town. If you dwell on your instrument/gear collection like it means more than the music you supposedly make, lose ten points.
If you fail to indicate your previous musicians wanted ads resulted in your name being passed around town under the category, "Do not call--flake" then again consider staying solo. If you indicate your new band is a turnkey operation with a PA and lights and management and gigs booked and any of those is not true, shut up. If the "management" is a family member or current sexual partner you want to keep happy, shut up even more. If you neglect to mention nobody has ever paid money to hear you perform while implying that you are a professional, minus ten points. If you claim to have released an album and that really means you burned a spindle of CD-Rs, printed labels at Kinkos and gave them away, minus ten points.
Minus another 100 points if your original compositions on your album actually involve the unauthorized use of other people's tracks. If you identify yourself as a composer when that really means you made up some new lyrics to old blues or rock standards, minus ten. If you use descriptives like advanced,
accomplished, professional, established and so on and cannot reasonably back up any of them, ten negative points. If you list legendary musicians as your musical influences but nobody but you can detect any sign of that in your music, ten lost points. If you claim to have worked with a famous musician when actually that means you repaired his vacuum cleaner, ten points adios. If you ever fail to turn up on time to any audition, rehearsal, jam session or whatever you arrange through your ad, negative 100
points.
Don't get me wrong, I've found some cool stuff on Craigslist including a fantastic deal on a Genz Benz amp in cherry condition for half what they normally sell for used. But dang it would be nice if people put just a bit more thought into their ads, it's almost as if some of them are trying to discourage folks from picking up the phone.
