Post by jimc on Feb 3, 2009 14:27:15 GMT -8
I can't claim credit for this but thought posting it on would be helpful!
This quick translation sheet should help those trying to decipher the true meaning behind most craigslist musician postings.
e.g. = example of a post.
(parenthesis) = The translation.
Jam - e.g. I'm looking for some people to jam with on the weekends. - (You don't have originals and don't know many covers all the way through, or even very well.)
Punk - e.g. I'm in a punk band. - (I only know 3-4 chords)
Hardcore - e.g. Hardcore band seeks screamo vocals. - (We're all under 18.)
Waaaah - e.g. Bars won't hire our band, waaaah. - (We're all capable musicians that are too lazy to promote ourselves or plan our own shows, yet seem to have plenty of time to whine in posts on craigslist)
Oldschool - e.g. Oldschool guitarist looking for... - (Fat, old and while balding on top, still supporting the long hair in back - aka the Skullet)
Auditioning - e.g. We're auditioning drummers. - (Hi, we have egos and unless you also have an ego about your own lack of success, you need not apply.)
No interwebs - e.g. I don't check e-mail, so call this number - (I'm too broke to afford a computer, internet connection, new guitar strings, decent equipment, or even my own beer at the bar/practice).
Misspellings - e.g. We need a guitatist who knows lots of cords. - (Obviously posted by a drummer.)
Weekend Open Mic - e.g. Come down to _____ cafe and sing for your supper! - (Bar/Restaurant owner is too damn cheap to pay for real talent and instead subjects the crowd to the uncoordinated fumblings of the inexperienced musician, which means less repeat business and hence less money the following weekend. It's a vicious cycle.)
Weekday Open Mic - e.g. Come down to _____ cafe and sing for your supper! - (Bar/Restaurant owner is still too damn cheap to pay for real talent, but kinda cool for giving the newbies a forum to get started and network.)
Christian/Gospel - e.g. Christian rock enthusiast seeks other likeminded musicians. - (I believe the "theory of evolution" is still just a "theory" and if you don't, then I don't want to rock with you.)
Black/Doom/Sludge - e.g. Not into that girly Pantera and Slipknot crap, looking for musicians into Black, Doom, etc. - (I think that by liking Satanic music or that by proclaiming that Pantera is soft, it makes me somehow more masculine. I like to cut the sleeves off of my black t-shirts to show my "guns" even though the only curls I do involve 12 ouncers.)
Outside of Anchorage - e.g. Progressive rock guitarist seeks drummer, vocals, bass and keys for band based in Seward. - (Seriously? If you get a ___ band worth watching in Seward, Talkeetna, Cordova, etc let us know. I'll make the road trip. Chances are it's time to move to a bigger town.)
New to Anchorage - e.g. I just moved up to Anchorage from _______ where I played in ______ band for years. Looking to get something similar set up here. - (Sorry, you'll have to navigate through the types of posts made above. Hopefully this quick translation list helps you out.)
This quick translation sheet should help those trying to decipher the true meaning behind most craigslist musician postings.
e.g. = example of a post.
(parenthesis) = The translation.
Jam - e.g. I'm looking for some people to jam with on the weekends. - (You don't have originals and don't know many covers all the way through, or even very well.)
Punk - e.g. I'm in a punk band. - (I only know 3-4 chords)
Hardcore - e.g. Hardcore band seeks screamo vocals. - (We're all under 18.)
Waaaah - e.g. Bars won't hire our band, waaaah. - (We're all capable musicians that are too lazy to promote ourselves or plan our own shows, yet seem to have plenty of time to whine in posts on craigslist)
Oldschool - e.g. Oldschool guitarist looking for... - (Fat, old and while balding on top, still supporting the long hair in back - aka the Skullet)
Auditioning - e.g. We're auditioning drummers. - (Hi, we have egos and unless you also have an ego about your own lack of success, you need not apply.)
No interwebs - e.g. I don't check e-mail, so call this number - (I'm too broke to afford a computer, internet connection, new guitar strings, decent equipment, or even my own beer at the bar/practice).
Misspellings - e.g. We need a guitatist who knows lots of cords. - (Obviously posted by a drummer.)
Weekend Open Mic - e.g. Come down to _____ cafe and sing for your supper! - (Bar/Restaurant owner is too damn cheap to pay for real talent and instead subjects the crowd to the uncoordinated fumblings of the inexperienced musician, which means less repeat business and hence less money the following weekend. It's a vicious cycle.)
Weekday Open Mic - e.g. Come down to _____ cafe and sing for your supper! - (Bar/Restaurant owner is still too damn cheap to pay for real talent, but kinda cool for giving the newbies a forum to get started and network.)
Christian/Gospel - e.g. Christian rock enthusiast seeks other likeminded musicians. - (I believe the "theory of evolution" is still just a "theory" and if you don't, then I don't want to rock with you.)
Black/Doom/Sludge - e.g. Not into that girly Pantera and Slipknot crap, looking for musicians into Black, Doom, etc. - (I think that by liking Satanic music or that by proclaiming that Pantera is soft, it makes me somehow more masculine. I like to cut the sleeves off of my black t-shirts to show my "guns" even though the only curls I do involve 12 ouncers.)
Outside of Anchorage - e.g. Progressive rock guitarist seeks drummer, vocals, bass and keys for band based in Seward. - (Seriously? If you get a ___ band worth watching in Seward, Talkeetna, Cordova, etc let us know. I'll make the road trip. Chances are it's time to move to a bigger town.)
New to Anchorage - e.g. I just moved up to Anchorage from _______ where I played in ______ band for years. Looking to get something similar set up here. - (Sorry, you'll have to navigate through the types of posts made above. Hopefully this quick translation list helps you out.)